2. The Education of Norm
An Education for the Perfection of the Family
An education for the perfection of the family refers to the education necessary for the nurturing of a man and a woman; at the time of their marriage they should have fulfilled the conditions for becoming an original husband and wife by resembling the harmony of God’s Yang and Yin. Since the human fall involved a failure to observe the norm (commandment of God), this education is, first of all, an education of norm designed to lead human beings in such a way that they observe God’s commandment. It is the education necessary to a man and a woman in order for them to gain the qualifications to become a principled husband and wife and form a family. A man must be fully equipped with the way of a husband; and a woman, with the way of a wife. The education of norm also includes learning the proper behavior expected of parents, the proper behavior expected of children, and the proper relationships necessary among brothers and sisters in the family.
Through this education of norm, the sanctity and mystery of the sexual relationship should be communicated with special care. A sexual relationship is something to be experienced only through marriage, and should never be violated at anytime, before or after marriage. According to the Bible, God told Adam and Eve, “of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat” (Gen. 2:17). This means that the sexual relationship is sacred, and must never be violated.
That commandment was intended not only for Adam and Eve, but for everyone, and it still maintains its validity today. This commandment is a supreme directive which will continue to be valid in the future as well. This supreme directive holds also that, after marriage, husband and wife can never, under any circumstances, have an illicit sexual relationship, that is, a sexual relationship with any person other than their spouse. Thus, the education of norm is, first of all, an education designed to nurture man and woman to the point of resembling God’s harmony of Yang and Yin, all the while observing the commandment of God. In other words, it is the education necessary for one to achieve the qualification to become a husband or a wife.
An Education for Becoming a Being of Reason-Law
The education of norm must be accompanied by an education of heart, since an education of norm per se necessarily has an obligatory nature, as can be seen in such normative directives as “You must not do this”; “You ought to do that”; and so forth. If such norms are not imbued with love, they can easily become excessively formal and legalistic. Therefore, an education of norm must be conducted in an atmosphere of love.
Love without norm is usually called blind love. Should parents or teachers express such love to children, they may become unreflective individuals, and end up with a despising heart. Parental love and the love of teachers must have some form of authority and dignity. In order to be of that nature, their love must be in accordance with Logos.
In case there is too little love with too much emphasis on norms, the children will come to feel restricted and may revolt against their parents or teachers. Love should transcend norms, and should not be dominated by them. Even in the case where children may fail to obey norms once or twice, still they must be forgiven with warm love.
Love forgives and accepts everything, whereas a norm has the nature of strict regulation. Love is harmonious and round, whereas a norm is, so to speak, linear. Love and norms must be united. Since love is round and a norm is linear, a person in whom love and norm are united becomes a person of character in whom a circle and a straight line are united.
In other words, a person of character refers to a person who, in a unified way, possesses the aspect of being the most harmonious, and at the same time possesses the aspect of being the strictest. A person with this kind of character can sometimes be very kind and at other times be very strict, and yet they can always assume the most appropriate attitude according to the time and place.
Therefore, an education of norm must be united with an education of heart. In other words, an education of norm must be given to children in a warm atmosphere of love both in the family and at school. If love becomes cool or cold, norms become formal and oppressive.